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How is it going for me! Hi I have never posted anything here as far as i remember but I think it's my duty now to write something hopeful and motivating to this overly depressed sub. Im 18 years old now and i have been stuttering since I was like 4 years old. It got a little more serious in 11th grade and I also cut every contact even with my closest friends during the summer break. I had to turn off my brain that could only tell me how worthless and unreliable i was. My social life was under the ass of a frog (as we say in Hungary). I was too afraid to ask questions and actively participate during the classes. My friends complained about my nonchalant mood but they couldn't understand my mental state. My brain decided to surrender to the constant faliures i bumped into and the best way to avoid faliure is to avoid the toughts that would lead us to success. I started to feel numb and i also had a foggy brain (a hundred times better than suicide thoughts). It was a calm state but without dissapointment there is no development. I always had a hunger for knowledge. During the summer break I started to read books and study online. I remember that for a straight 4 days I didn't even speak a word to anybody. It was the best circumstance a stuttering boy could imagine himself in. So what I'm trying to say is that stuttering is a battle that you fight in your own mind (where there is a battlefield and you are not in command of any army) so why would you depend on exterior help or anything that is out of your league or even above your own capabilities? You already have one, that is your stuttering. Of course, you can ask for professional help, such as a psychologist, but he or she can only give you direction, not solve your problems. You have to decide your own battle. Don't you feel that people around you don't even understand the trials you go through every day? All they can tell you is that you did well, you did good, we don't mind your stutter, I think it's cute. Yet we don't feel any lighter after these kind comments and encouragements. Because the problem is the subjective truth itself (inner anguish) and the reality is that the petty bourgeoisie, tired of individualism and grey everyday life, doesn't mind you stuttering in the slightest. If you look at it more closely these days, bullying is not the same (speaking for myself). It's as if we have lost our right to injustice and are now creating our own delusions and problems. That is the human being. A biological computer, if it doesn't have an exact problem, will invent one for itself. And when this is combined with boredom, we are able to tie Gordian knots around ourselves to paradoxical depths. So let's cut those knots in two. Back to the main theme. One needs to find an inner philosophy, an ideal system, which, if carefully followed, can keep one's inner demon, the stammerer, in check. The degree of your stutter is directly proportional to the inhibiting power of your inner anxiety. Make the irony of life directed at you a source of humour for yourself. Convince yourself by being quiet and reflective, then surprise yourself (importantly, only yourself) by shouting and speaking up. Develop yourself not to impress others, but to your own virtue. I know by the end I may have gotten a bit clichéd, but that's been my experience so far. Of course all this with 0 life experience so far. These days I hardly stutter, or if I do, it's barely noticeable. I even communicate with girls more freely now. Of course, these are just the perhaps only temporarily happier years of a young person's life. I know many are already working and their work environment makes it even more stressful to cope. I recommend solitude and reflection. I even got my friends back at the beginning of the year and my relationship with them is much better than it was last year. Thank you for listening.