I dont want my life to be a perpetual loop of trying to find the meaning to my stutter. I dont want looking for the meaning to be all i am

I dont want my life to be a perpetual loop of trying to find the meaning to my stutter. I dont want looking for the meaning to be all i am the original quote is by someone i dont remember but yeah. am just so tired. i just never find the answer, it only leads to more questions