I gave up on stuttering, and the stuttering seems to leave me alone

I gave up on stuttering, and the stuttering seems to leave me alone If any of you remember over the last two months, I have been crashing out that my stutter is ruining my med school interviews and the thought my stutter making my medical school journey hell. 2 days ago, I read this game changer article written some 40 years ago [https://web.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/steringdies.html](https://web.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/steringdies.html) and I have come to a realization that the reason I stutter is because I try to fight the stutter. A stutter anticipation thought arises ----> I panic ----> I automatically react to inhibit that thought by trying to so hard to get the words out smoothly----> manifests as a block However now, I realized that I can have that "Pausa" between a that ugly anticipation thought arising and choosing to observe it, let it float, wait the right thought to emerge then choose to speak it when I am comfy. This usually comes out effortlessly even if it is not totally fluent. And that is okay. my goal is not about "no stutter". It is about "no struggle", There is no tricks, no word substitution, no breathing mechanisms. These are escape mechanisms and actually harmful. I would absolutely not attempt to say the word until I know deeply I can say it. It doesn't matter If it takes extra 5 or 10 seconds. Over time (maybe even days), the violent thoughts of blocks start to lose their grip on you. Neither celebrate fluency nor fight stuttering. Forget progress bar. Putting fluency on a pedestal and the strong desperation for fluency prevented me from being in the present moment and connecting all my life.