I don't think you're wrong but I also think you're generalizing to far in the other direction here. I get upset at the incel streak this sub has too, but part of the appeal is that it presents a formula for people to plug themselves into and say "happiness isn't possible and I have no agency." The pure opposite formula also isn't a solution, you can't bootsrap yourself to past real problems by washing your ass and brushing your teeth. The truth is no one truly has complete agency, we're shaped by our history and circumstances. Thats why I'm such a big proponent of therapy, to an extent we all need to process the trauma of disfluency and grieve a little bit for ourselves in productive and cathartic ways. The degree to which we come to terms with ourselves is the degree to which we can engage with others.