>What is the thing that caused this? Stuttering. And how do you know this? How do you know it wasn't something inherent in you--just as much as your disfluency--that was triggered by your stutter? That's a lot of faith to put into an assumed variable, is all I'm saying. > Playing the game of "If it wasn't stuttering, it'll just be something else!" doesn't do one single thing. Neither does playing a game of, "This thing definitively is the sole cause of it, even though I have no basis for comparison, as it's all I know." How do you know it's causation and not correlation? You don't. That's just how you feel. Which is your prerogative, don't get me wrong, you do you. But something as serious as suicidal ideation warrants further examination. In reality, most of us will always be stutterers. We can sit here and blame stuttering for all of our problems, or we can come to terms with it being a part of who we are and treat our emotional and social problems as emotional and social problems--not fluency problems.