All my life I was told to get noise out anyway I could when I get into a hard block. After 15+ years of therapy I have finally started doing it. And its for the worse.

All my life I was told to get noise out anyway I could when I get into a hard block. After 15+ years of therapy I have finally started doing it. And its for the worse. I have always had really bad block in my speech, to the point where I would almost start convulsing because I couldnt breathe and was trying to get air. I have almost passed out multiple times over the years because once I was in a block, I could not physically get out of it. My body just wont let me, its hard to explain. And i cant breathe when I am in a block. I have finally started to stretch out my words to where I get sound out. But everyone I have done it in front of says it sounds horrible and even more unnatural than just getting blocked. Its things like this that make me angry at the years of speech therapy I went through in school and after. I told them back then that all of the techniques they were teaching me were terrible and they still forced me to go through it. I recorded myself doing it one time so I could hear it back and agree its horrible. It just sounds like an annoying car getting stuck when starting up. Its horrible and I prefer just getting hard blocked. Now its very difficult for me to go back to that instead of making this annoying noise. Damn, I hate stuttering. Just needed to vent about how BS all the speech therapy I went through was.