commentr/StutterNovember 30, 2024

Content

>Pls let me know how it goes! Hey, I’m back! Here’s what happened: I did speak with the professor. He first tried to convince me to do the presentation, saying it would be good for me and that i need to gill myself with positive thaought and affirmations instead and that he’d take my stutter into account so it wouldn’t hurt my grade. But I kept explaining why it would be difficult for me, and he said that if I had approached him earlier—before he told us we’d all have to do presentations—he would’ve made paper exam an obligation for everyone. He told me he didn’t want to be unfair to other students who might have their own issues, and that he couldn’t allow himself to do that, even if no one else ever found out. Honestly, knowing his character and what he stands for, I could tell right away that he was being genuine when he said that. In the end, we settled on a one-on-one presentation, and he even gave me the choice to go first or last. He also mentioned that he once worked with a student who also used to stutter, at another school, and how he basicaly made a plan to help him throughout the year with the cooperation of other professors, until he got rid of it. Althought, at moments i felt he didn't understand quite well what stuttering is all about and that it's different in people, because at one point he said "but you don't stutter now" then i had to explain what it is all about. However, i still felt like i didn't explain myself well and that he probably was even more confused at the end of our conversation. I got the empression that he felt my stutter was not that severe to actually request this kind of accomodation, and that actually lives in my head rent free. But i'm relieved that i got it off my chest. Also, throughout the conversation, he so kindly apologized to me multiple times for not being able to fulfill my original request. (What a caring soul!) Still, I felt terribly awkward afterward. I kept avoiding eye contact, and at one point, he tried to make me feel more comfortable by speaking to me in our native language. For some reason, I couldn’t respond in it (because I actually feel more embarrassed stuttering in my native language than in English ) and just kept answering in English. It was such an awkward conversation. I also felt terrible because I’d been building up to this moment for the last three days, hoping for my initial request to be accepted. But now, after sitting down and thinking about it, I realize he actually did the right thing for me. After all, he didn’t have to accommodate me in any way—especially since it could cause problems with other students if they found out. But he was kind enough to offer me the one-on-one presentation, which in the next best thing abfter what i originaly asked for. Actually, after having spoken to him now, I have MAD RESPECT for him. I don’t think I could have been treated any better by another professor, given the circumstances.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceEmotional ExperienceSchool & Work

Subthemes

Overthinking & MonitoringAnxiety & Social JudgmentAccess & Rights