You 100% right, and I've gone through the same good & bad cycles through out my life. Iĺl be almost 100% fluent for a few months then fall back into a hole and be like 5% fluent with max anxiety for 6+ months...yes when you don't think about it it's easier. But it's almost like a defense mechanism because from past experiences as a kid I assume people to laugh or publicly disrespect me if I stutter too bad. And especially now at 30+ yrs old grown man I can't be made to look like a fool I need to be taken seriously especially when it comes to work. These are the thoughts that go through my head before I meet new people unfortunately. And it's a cycle that's extremely hard almost impossible at this point to break...but ofcourse the less I care about people's opinions & reactions the easier it is on me psychologically & the less I might stutter.