YES, avoidance has been one of the most tiring and frustrating aspects of my life and I truly just dont want to feel the pain anymore. I think I've gotten to the point where the pain and indignity of changing myself for others has outweighed the pain of stuttering. And I certainly was feeling hate and disdain for everyone thinking that everyone was a jerk, but obviously I was clouded. So, thank you for taking the time to write all of that out for me. I have a local NSA chapter that I visit occasionally, but as you have suggested, now that I am deciding to be overt in my stuttering their support will probably be more important than ever. And I think that it's cool that you have a little brother who stutters and that you decided to become an SLP, I can tell you have great empathy.