i really felt this, especially the part about replaying conversations and the fear of looking incompetent when you know your ideas are good. That internal fluency vs external reality is brutal. Since you're looking for actual solutions and you've got a kid on the way, this might be worth checking out. I've seen people get real results from working with speech therapists who specialize in adult stuttering, especially ones who understand the psychological side of it and not just the mechanics. The combination of technique work (breathing patterns, voluntary stuttering practice) and addressing the shame/anxiety piece seems to make the biggest difference from what I've read. Some people also benefit from stuttering support groups where you can practice in a judgment-free space, which helps reduce that constant self-monitoring you mentioned. Better Speech could be worth looking into if you want to try therapy without the typical waitlist and travel hassle. They connect you with licensed therapists online, and from what I've heard they're good at matching you with someone who gets the adult stuttering experience. Might be easier to fit around your work schedule at a Japanese company too, since online sessions tend to be more flexibile with timing.