IMO the most absurd thing about stuttering is how inconsistent it is

IMO the most absurd thing about stuttering is how inconsistent it is I (25M) have been stuttering since 22 years. What annoys me most about the stutter is that it's just utterly absurd when it occurs and when it doesn't. This happenend the other the for example: I was talking to my mom and I kept getting stuck all the time with a lot of tension (no sound coming out, trying to push the word out for 5+ seconds). I'm a musician, so I had my guitar in my hand and had just figured out some cool chord progression. So, I took out my phone and told her, already completely fluently and nonchalantly, as if I'd never stuttered a day in my life, "hold on, I gotta record something real quick". I then proceeded to talk into my phone some details about the chord progression, where to put which finger etc. – all without a single stutter and in very fast tempo. I, of course, didn't consciously focus on my fluency in that moment (otherwise it probably wouldn't have worked...) but my mom pointed it out to me afterwards and I agreed. Here's some other situations where I don't stutter at all consistently: - singing (100% fluent) - talking to myself (99% fluent) - reading aloud alongside someone or speaking alongside someone in general (100% fluent; this one is very odd to me). Fun fact: This is how I did presentations at school: Because I knew this worked 100% of the time for me, I always wrote out the text to my presentation word for word and recorded it at home alone in my room onto my phone. Then, during the presentation, I listened to my part of the presentation on one in-ear headphone and read the text aloud alongside myself. This worked very well for me and definitely saved some of my school experience in regards to presentations. - recording voice messages (here my stutter is completely gone 95% of the time) - stuttering volantarily (100% fluent but I find it very hard to transition into while a severe block is happening) If stuttering worked like other types of disabilities that occur more consistently, I think I'd have an easier time accepting it. WIth the situation as it is, I keep on holding on to hope that someday I'm going to find a way to make use of all these absurd "loopholes" that work and bridge them together to trick my brain into fluency.