And I thought job interviews were the worst part

And I thought job interviews were the worst part I thought I would never find a job. After dozens of interviews I was sure that the problem was my speech impediment, not the speech impediment itself, but how I deal with it, always trying to hide it because of shame , fear or both, but when you try so hard to hide it you look like an anxious guy, awkward and maybe stupid ( replacing the right words with other just to finish the setence, even though it's wrong). Before each interview we build up our confidence so high we could give speeches to the whole nation, but that confidence shows fragile as soon as we hear someone addressing is a question. But, today was my day , I don't know how , but I finally got the job, two consecutives interviews and I'm in! I finally did it, even stuttering! Last Friday I got the big news, you start on Monday , today. Happiness flows through my body , but the thing is, it was so hard to get a job in the first place that I thought it was all over, I've just forgotten a small detail, I still stutter! Just finished first day, I could barely say a word, couldn't express myself and show my knowledge once again. Social anxiety peaked, good old thoughts crossed my mind, what am I doing here? I don't belong here! Went home, cried a lot, alone, as always. And this will never end, we stutteres, well, at least me, we're living each obstacle at a time, like, tomorrow We have a presentation , ask for directions, go to the mall, job interview , first day at work , and we anticipate those big or small things each second till the last, and when it's all over the relief is huge, almost addicting, but then it comes another. We live in constant anxiety and pressure, it's awful. Maybe knowing that for a fact could help? Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my native language, just had to express myself. TL;DR : ain't life a bitch?