How does it feel?

How does it feel? How does it feel to have accepted the fact that you are a stutterer? I dream of doing so myself, but I'm too scared. And due to my way of handling the stuttering, not many people know that I stutter. So I would also want to know how it is for you "open" stutterers. I could imagine that it is such a relief to just stutter, highly and proudly. Why do I have to hide it for? That is something i struggle with on a daily basis. And when I've known people for a while, and they still don't know that they're dealing with a stutterer, it would feel like a betrayel if I were to admit. I act like a lunatic, haha...