Depressed, suicidal and want to go on drugs

Depressed, suicidal and want to go on drugs So I'm like 90% sure the cause of my stuttering is anxiety. I feel suicidal everyday just stuttering and embarrassing myself at work. My mom doesn't want me to go on drugs because she feels I would get dependent on it (which I probably will). But I'm the one embarrassing myself everyday not her. I consider myself quite successful for my age. I went to an Ivy League and I make 6 figures right now. But I'm still not happy and want to commit suicide everyday. I just don't have the balls to do it yet. What's the point of living when all you feel is sadness? I'm crying just typing this right now. I hate stuttering so much, OMG. Anxiety drugs are my only hope now. Have they worked on anyone?