Holy fuck. That was a crazy read. You ever tried praying to God, man? It sounds simple, but maybe it could be life changing for you. It got me through some crazy fucking shit in the past. I stutter as well, and honestly I’ve never heard such a crazy story about how it’s affected someone. It’s honestly really refreshing compared to a lot of others in this little community who seem to say a whole lot of unhonest shit. You really keep it real and I like that a lot. I also tried to take my own life multiple times my sophomore and junior year of high school. I even played basketball and was pretty damn good, but I quit because of my stutter. I know how it feels to feel like you can’t become what you know you should be because of stuttering. I don’t have any advice, I just want to say that I genuinely feel the same way and it’s nice, but also sad that someone else goes through this same thing. I can’t really relate with all the drugs and stuff lol, I try my best to stay away from that. I hope you stay well man. Hit me up if you ever wanna talk or something like that 🤷