It sounds like me that you’re still learning to accept that you have a stutter... I’m also on the same page. I’ve learned to brush things off after it’s happened. For example, I’m about to go out for drinks and I know I’ll need to go up to the bar and stutter away until I spit out what I want. I now just take a breathe and get any negative thoughts out my head because that’s the main enemy. I feel like our inner voice is the main problem and not the stutter. Just try to stop beating yourself up over it because think about it, what good is it bringing you. The harsh truth is that we don’t have a cure yet, so we just need to accept and be happy with ourselves. Easier said than done though