What helped me deal with it for a long time was just to never raise my head to the road ahead. Just focus on each day as it came, never planning more than the coming weekend at max.  It was somewhat successful, although punctuated by the occasional breakdown anyway. What really helped me *fix* the suicidal thoughts though was going out, combating them, and proving them wrong. I was really torn up because I thought I was fundementally unlikable since I couldn't communicate. But going out to a social event showed me that that wasn't true, people did like to talk to me, and people would be my friend. Now, about two years later, I've gone from absolutely zero friends to nearly 20 people coming to my birthday. It's actually creating a whole new problem lmao