Look, I'm sure you've had all the advice - go slower, take deep breaths, space out your words, etc. And of course it would be great if you could just not care about what people think when you stutter. But in the moment when you physically cannot say the word you're trying to say, and you know everyone around you is laughing, smirking, rolling their eyes or whatever, it's kinda hard to think about that. All I could ever think was about how worthless I was. How I would never, could never, amount to anything. How could I? I can't even say my own name. So the only advice I can give you is to find your worth. You are not defined by your stutter. You are defined by your actions. Your value is not in whether or not you can speak well, it's in who you are as a person. So when you're having trouble and everyone around you is being a douche - which from your post I'm guessing is quite a bit - know they aren't better than you. You are not worth less than they are because you stutter.