I understand you. I have a much similar experience. I startet speech therapy with a which to stop stuttering and to be as fluent as possible. We talk about how to slow your pace and to articulate more clearly. I startet using it in my everyday life, but as my speech got “better” the stuttering moments and the thoughts around it got waaay worse. I could be as fluent as I have ever been, and the second a moment of stutter came - it felt like my life felt apart. Because suddenly I wasn’t “free” or had found the perfect way to speaking. So I know what you are going through. What changed for me, was how I looked at it. I still stutter. But nobody is perfect and that’s what did something for me. A realisation that I’m not perfect and also that I don’t need to be. Fluency should never be the goal. M28