You're getting annoyed at how other people might see you though, no? I was in your position. One of these days I'm going to post a video just to show the severity. I was gone beyond the line of "not being able to communicate". Or so I thought. But I began to not care about what other peoples reactions were, because you know what fuck them. And you know what also? Fuck fluency. Because having this goal in front of me of achieving fluency was fucking impossible. Why? Because I have a stutter, and a very severe one at that. I never put that comparison in there to make you feel better about your situation. I put it in there as a comparison. People who are worse off than all of us here have had to overcome more. I'm not saying that to make you or others feel bad either. I'm saying it to bring across the fact that if other people in worse situations can get to a stage where they feel comfortable with the fact that they're living, why can't we? You may handle it some way, but you can change how you handle it. You don't have to handle it a certain way just because you always have done it that way. You can change your outlook, your perceptions and your way of living to cater for a better life. The way you handle it now, might not be the best way to handle it. You don't have to give up on anything in your life. I can see you're frustrated about the things I'm saying. But I've been at a very very low point too. I'm not going to go into detail about it, but I've come out of it. How? I changed my outlook. Constantly shooting yourself in the foot about your stutter isn't going to help anything. Neither is giving up, neither is changing your aspirations, neither is being negative about your life in general. I can only say so much to you. But it's ultimately up to you to find the light within the dark place, as cliche as that sounds. The least positive thinking will do is not make it worse, and I think anyone who has been in the same situation would agree with me saying that.