I have a unique take on your situation. I am an only child and of course I grew up with a mild stutter. I have experienced loneliness my entire life. Stuttering never held me back completely but it has contributed mightly to my struggles in relationships and my lack of opposite sex relationships. Don't get my wrong, I've had a few but spent long droughts with no one in my life aside from my mother. Enough about me, here is what I will say. You are by no means alone. I have Terrible days where I wish I was someone else or wish I were even dead. What keeps me going? I focus my energy on goals. Personal Goals. Interpersonal relationships like friends, and girlfriends are difficult to keep in my life or to make meaningful but one thing I do have control over are my own actions. So I focus 100% on things I can control like my career, building wealth, and improving myself (foreign languages, physical fitness, musicianship etc.) That is the only reason I can stay positive and I think that will help you too. Focus on the things U can change! I also am pretty thoroughly driven by revenge to be honest. I am motivated to probe everyone who has ever rejected me or doubted me wrong. Happiness Comes from within and it is up to all of us to find a reason to be grateful and happy within ourself. I hope this helps somewhat.