Content
Is anyone sick of stuttering? I am. I am so sick of constantly having to think of words to immediately switch out, having to physically strain myself to get a word out because of a block, sometimes literally not being able to stop stuttering or talking because my brain is too focused to stop, my jaw, neck, throat and lip pains, numbing jaws on bad days, sore throats, not being able to breathe, literally, when having a bad block, my nostrils blocking when stuttering so I have to breathe and talk at the same time, the weird movements I do which makes me hurt a bit, the facial tics when stuttering, having to sometimes accidentally physically harm myself just to get a word out, the frustration of not being able to communicate clearly, not being seen as a fit leader, not being to do one of the most important human things: Speak normal, crying myself to sleep, the teasing, bullying and laughing and mimicking of kids at school and in other places(I know they are just kids but still), nobody truly understanding in my family, people keep telling me to “just stop” even though the whole point of stuttering is involuntary disruptions in speech so it’s out of my control, not being able to verbally defend myself, the fears of doing basic tasks like ordering, calling, etc, or not being able to do them at all, the fear that if a loved one got injured and I had to call 911, because of my stutter I can’t talk well so they might get impatient or think I’m playing with them and hang up, or I take too long and help doesn’t arrive in time, having to constantly think about job opportunities because literally almost all jobs require speaking, being laughed at because stuttering turned into this thing to laugh at and use as comedic affect, I’m sick of it.