I feel like if it was confirmed that you come back a different person, I would just 100% kill myself and hopefully come back without a stutter... :/

I feel like if it was confirmed that you come back a different person, I would just 100% kill myself and hopefully come back without a stutter... :/ I hate my life, everyday in school now everyday in college just worrying about if the teacher is going to say "get into groups for a presentation". The times the teacher has said this my heart just drops and starts beating really fast, i start getting butterflies and it fkin hurts :( My own mum doesn't understand it she constantly says hurry up and answer i aint got all day or just tuts whenever i get stuck.. I just want 1 day where I dont have to worry about any of this :/