That's tough. What country are you working in? When I was 29, I got a job and stuttered so much in the meeting that the manager took me to one side and asked me if I wanted to email him what I was up to. I said "thanks, but if I don't talk in meetings I never will." Bless the guys I worked with, for 3 months they patiently waited for me to battle through trivial updates. I would use a whiteboard quite often to help explain my ideas and that helped. As time went on, I got more confident, I got promotions, I now do a bunch of public speaking (I still stutter a lot). I would seek support from my manager if I was in your position. If the support wasn't there, I would explore other options. Having a friendly face or someone who holds up the room to give you space to contribute is so helpful and what you have contribute is important and valuable to the business you work for. You mention going red and getting worked up. A lot of therapy focuses on acceptance and cognitive therapy. I suspect you will find this valuable. It really turned things around for me. It took me a long long long long long long time to properly accept that I have a stutter and it is OK. I thought I had accepted it when I was 20 but really, it was last year at 39 that I finally got it. I wish I had figured it out sooner.