Why don't you tell that voice in your head that says your stuttering is coming back to go fuck itself? That voice is so full of shit -- in your post you mentioned you recently had a good year from 20-21, so that voice is obviously wrong. I know in my situation I have good years and bad years for fluency. And that voice needs to die because it's a pussy-ass little bitch with no understanding or perspective of your situation. It's just a negative voice who wants to bitch and moan and make you feel bad. People -- or at least the people you want to be around -- don't care about your stutter. The people who do probably have a big stick in thier ass won't be fun to be around anyway. You could listen to that voice, but you should tell it to fuck off. It has no understanding of the cycles of fluency and no prespective -- how can you even be a failure 21? Your whole life is ahead of you. What a stupid voice.