commentr/StutterMay 30, 2020

Content

I used to stuttered from a very young age (when my dad left actually) until 10 and then it came back from 15 to 21-22. Worst thing that could happen to me back then was to read something out loud at high school and get asked a question. When I was 17 I had enough and I didn't want to go back to what I was experiencing during my early childhood so I just decided to not give a f*** anymore and not let it control my life. So I started rapping everyday (yeah, I know, weird choice when you stutter) and noticed that I wasn't stuttering when rapping and recording myself allowed me to perfect my enunciation too. So I started working on that too. In my decision to give a big F to all this, I also did a year of drama. That was a lot of fun actually even though the first seance (and the last one, which was basically a show in front of an audience that I didn't know) was the scariest things I've ever been through lol I think these 2 things made me more confident and taught me how to breath better and the stutter went off slowly after that (like after a couple of years). I feel like a lot of it was actually in my head and over thinking it. A lot was caused by anticipation. Like you have an interview for a job and what stresses you is not if you'd be able to answer the questions but if you will be able to answer the questions fluently. It's a vicious circle because you then only focus on the form ( how you speak) and not on what you say. I remember that a lot of time I was preventing myself from saying words that I knew I couldn't say without stuttering, altering or omitting crucial details as a result. Anyway, I'm 27 now, still making music and have been stutter - free for the past 5 years or so. That's not to say that I'm a great speaker (that's mostly an entirely different thing) but I don't freak out when I have to talk to people or in public anymore.

Themes

Causes & VariabilityAnticipation & AvoidanceSchool & Work

Subthemes

Strategic Swearing/CursingRoles & PerformanceAvoidance & SubstitutionStress & Fight/FlightEmployment & Career

Codes (1)

anticipation