I’m starting law school as a stutter.

I’m starting law school as a stutter. Tomorrow I’m starting classes for my new career. Which one? Law. These last few days ive been freaking out about public speaking which you know it’s one of the main (if not the most important one) things you’ve to do when studying law and as a lawyer. I don’t think my stuttering it’s severe or critical but it really affects the way I communicate. Ofc i change words, i keep quiet when I wanna talk, I can’t talk by phone…But the worst part is READING IN PUBLIC. I can’t. Idk why but the words just won’t come out of my mouth. Talking in public, I mean in front of a class, it’s already really hard but reading… No. Just can’t. I’m 19 and I’ve been dealing with this since… maybe forever. I don’t remember and neither do my family and friends. I think At least 9 years. I tried with a therapist twice for 1 year each (2017 and 2022). And the results were…. At first wonderful but with the past of the months… well, i had to practice a lot more just to see some kind of improvement. I’ve always felt that my brain builds some kind of immunity against my exercises. The worst thing was that one day i could wake up as a non stutter person but the other… Well, in 2023 i got surgery bc i was sick. They gave me full anesthesia. I’m kinda fine now but back then, the 2-3 weeks after the anesthesia were THE BEST IN MY LIFE. In terms of talking ofc. I thought i was out of stuttering but then 2 months later everything was “normal” again. That’s why i never took therapy again bc i thought -still think that way- that If I could find a way to be as calm as possible -like i were while anesthesian- maybe MAYBE my stuttering would disappear. How? By meditation. Bc of laziness I havent done it yet. (Maybe today it will be my first day. I hope) I’ll tell my results. Wish me luck. I even tried Ritalin for 1 month and sleeping pills but the difference was minimal. If meditation doesn’t work I’ll try more pills.