You've not always been like this and you'll not always be like this. You know this. Don't take drugs to numb yourself. Confront what you feel and pick yourself up again. We have all walked down that road and still do. But, after having walked down that road and knowing that it doesn't lead to any good and is only a mental spiral that makes you depress and causes you to be more fearful of speaking situations, thus leading to more stuttering; we know better not to go too far down. So every now and then, we approach that open gate in our lives, we know better and walk on. You know you'll pass that gate again, where it all seems to fall to shit. But, walk on. Fight on. I too came out of a very bad phase in my stuttering journey. I stuttered like I hadn't in the past 10 years. I slowly started to pick the reasons as to why I had regressed to that state. I talked to my speech therapist about it and he told me that we never go back. He made me realise that I was in an emotionally compromised state and my overall outlook towards life was affecting my speech. Stuttering can spring a surprise on you every now and then. At times it's in the most crucial of times and can leave us embarrassed. But don't give in to the temptation of depression. It is pertinent to remember that it is ONLY a phase and it shall pass. Fight on. What other choice do we have?