>"the hate that I have for myself outweighs that love" I can't make your (final) decisions. But. I can give you tips from Yaruss (PhD researcher) who investigated suicide in stutterers. **Tips**: (from Yaruss) * **Together with an understanding psychologist you can:** * focus on reducing negative reactions to stuttering (like, the hate towards yourself that overshadows that love of people around you) * focus on reducing adverse impact of stuttering, including negative thoughts and feelings related to stuttering or suicidal thoughts (like, the smirks customers get whenever they hear you stutter) * address depression, social isolation, and low self-esteem * bolster protective factors (like, increasing self-worth, enhancing network support) * address feelings of belonging or being a burden, variability over time, and triggers - to change suicidal thoughts over time * analyze triggers to suicidal thoughts, such as, changes in fluency, adverse life events, illness, negative thoughts, and work-related challenges: 1. ridicule, and discrimination due to stuttering 2. feelings of wasted or stolen life experiences because of stuttering 3. chronic physical illnesses and family-related stress 4. frustration from a bad day of stuttering and the lack of hope for improvement 5. a sense of worthlessness and unfulfilled potential 6. stress, anxiety, grief, friend problems, and romantic relationship issues 7. experiences of abuse and feelings of worthlessness 8. fear of being looked at differently due to stuttering 9. negative reactions and judgments from others 10. reminders of inadequacy due to speech difficulties 11. perceptions of others that limit opportunities due to stuttering * manage suicidal thoughts, by focusing on hobbies, exercise, spirituality, music, and other distractions to improve mental health and divert focus from suicidal thoughts.. or by focusing on lifestyle changes, positive changes in self-perception, and the passage of time * consider the potential consequences of actions, such as the impact on friends, family, and loved ones. Reflecting on the harm it could cause to others * encouraging open discussions about suicidal ideation within the stuttering community (meaning: this post is a good first step) - for example to reduce stigma and increase awareness