Lots of practice and focusing on the message. The crutches (now called strategies I think) is very helpful for that. Regarding being hard on yourself. I guess you just have to reflect on it and see it and yourself in a bigger perspective. This is not something you do one time, more like lots of times over a long period. Maybe 1 -2 years? You arrive at a point where you both understand and truly feel that it doesn't matter that much, if anything at all. Since you are aware of where you stutter, you have come a long way. Keep up the good work! :)