The hardest truth of having a stutter is that we're the only ones that can fix it. The problems you're describing are internal, not external. Socialization and conversational skills aren't skills that others help you learn, you have to practice and teach yourself. Obviously having a stutter makes those things twice as hard. It's a bitch to try and deliver punchlines or bring up topics, say someone's name in conversation, etc. Making conversation flow is a real challenge. I can't tell if you're just venting or asking for advice, but if you need advice the only kind I can give you is to recommend you do all of those things that you say you have fears of. You can't improve otherwise. Also I want to point out I'm not trying to speak like some authority who knows better - this is all easier said than done. But I have a severe stutter as well, and I face a lot of the challenges you mentioned, but I've also improved because I dove into conversations and social gatherings to "toughen" myself up, so to speak. It really made me feel a lot better, even though my stutter didn't improve - I just got more comfortable stuttering in front of people. Once I got more comfortable stuttering, I could then focus on fixing it itself. I can't work on improving my stutter if I'm too shy to speak, so I had to try and overcome that first. That way I won't feel like I'm missing out of opportunities, like you had mentioned. Best of luck to you!