General advice for everyone with anxiety coming here.

General advice for everyone with anxiety coming here. Alright, I see an enormous amount of posts linking anxiety and stuttering together. Mostly young adults. I'm not a frequenter of this subreddit, because I mostly am done with my issues. I'm making this post because I want to help you too. I have had therapy for light anxiety and stuttering with a psychologist for the first and a speech therapist for the second. Myself I have a light stutter nowadays, but that aggrevates when stress builds up, sleep deprevation and whatnot. Presentation, Oh, what did I loathe presentations. I still don't like them, but I can handle them nonetheless. What I like to give you with is one of the basic premises of life; **1. You are not defined by a small aspect** You are you. The fact that you stutter is not a defining aspect. "That stuttering guy"; No, you are that guy with that color of hair, skintone and with these and these hobbies. You like your preferences. If you have trouble realising this, I suggest you pick a piece of paper and try to think and write down what you like to do. You don't have to be good at it. What do you like to do? Play games? Certain kind of sports? Cook? Meeting people (depite of your stutter)? Write it down. Do more of it, and build a happier life for yourself. Somewhat more specific. This is what I've learnt from a psychologist in anxiety therapy. I could completely stress out and black out during an exam and see everything fails. Everything crumbles. **2. Anxiety is based on irrational thoughts** You think you have musts and shoulds. You MUSTN'T stutter when talking, or meeting someone, it would make a bad impression. COMPLETELY FUCKING UNTRUE. Slap yourself, get back to the real world. What is truly the worst that can happen? That the other person won't talk to you anymore? So big fucking deal, there are 6.8 billion people on this world and that single shallow piece of shit can go fuck him or herself. You may stutter. No one reasonable is holding you accountable for it. Also, force yourself to think "helpful thoughts" when in stress situations to calm yourself down. Have it lined up in advance. Shit, you are not prepared and you have to talk in front of 15 people? *Everything will be fine, they expect me not to be prepared*. ACTIVELY think that. It's easy to have this in the 'back of your mind', but no, it should be in the front. It should be your main thought and everything that can go wrong is not helpful, so you should not think about that. And something a lot of people struggle with, and this is not necessarily based on stuttering, but a lot of people hang on to it "Oh, my self esteem and confidence is low because I stutter". No, stuttering has nothing to do with it. A lot of people fight with that. **3. Self esteem. Grow confidence** You truly may think you're the greatest man or woman walking this earth. You have your qualities, and people in the vicinity should be glad to have you within their vicinity. Especially for guys this is a very difficult aspect of life, as they are expected to be confident and find women. Same thing as nr. 2, actively reinforce yourself by thinking you're the best thing since sliced bread. You may laugh at this in the mirror; Looking at your image, thinking, who am I fooling? You're not fooling anyone. You are you and you like what you like; see nr. 1. You, guys primarily, will hear a lot like "Don't let it get to you" when a woman rejects you. But what does that actually mean? You hear it, but you let it slip. What it means is that your self esteem should be unharmed of that event. Don't think of it as an outright rejection. No, you just go up to talk with people, and if they don't like talking back more, it's what it is. Incompatibility. but you are not *rejected*, you are not too low for her. No, you have different qualities that did not fit with her. It is no shame, it's something that happens. Any normal guy, not a movie actor or alike faces about an acceptance rate of just 1-2%. Those two rejections you ever faced? They are nothing. But confidence allows you to go on and search further.