Damn dude, I really hear you. That approach avoidance really is a killer and not easy to reconcile. The only real solution is to stutter without the stress, but definitely easier said than done. I will say though, good for you for going out. Just putting ourselves in social situations like that can be uneasy but it's good to push our comfort zones, even if we dont talk a lot. Be sure not to aim to high or focus on the negatives because it will pull you down and add to your depression (but likely not actual depression). Try to actively focus on, "hey, you went out and it was a good change of pace. next time, maybe you'll try introducing yourself to a few people or making idle chit chat." And try not to focus on the stuttering, even if it feels shitty. put the focus on trying to introduce yourself to one person or making idle chat with one person. The stuttering is irrelevant to the goal. and then you keep pushing the comfortable zone slow and steady. Check out what Joseph Sheehan has to say though on approach avoidance conflict (and everything else stuttering. he really gets how to approach stuttering). http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/pioneers/jsheehan/jsheehan.html https://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/sheehanmessage.html