Blocking isn't ugly. Stuttering on the sound is ugly (when there's a lot of tension). You block because you are unwilling to stutter on that sound and show how ugly it might be. But you're unwilling in part because you there's a lot of unconscious negative reaction to stuttering which makes it worse. It's hard to accept yourself as a person who stutters when you are so conditioned to avoid stuttering as all costs or when it feels scary. The thing that helped me is **_good_** therapy. But that will include doing what you do and learning to stop avoiding and becoming more ok with stuttering. This can be very difficult / near impossible to do on your own which is why I recommend searching high and low for a **qualified** therapist who knows how to help in this. But no, you aren't resigned to having to accept being ok with blocking. It is something that can be worked on.