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Written with a smile on my face. I can't be arsed to write my whole life story, but yeah, I stutter. I have been for my entire life, as far as I am concerned. The difficulties of my stuttering goes up and down as the time goes by, but I am never without it, it is always there, one way or the other. I have tried to accept the fact that this is something I can't wish away, or sleep away or anything, that this thing is permanent, but no matter how much I try I always end up in my house, hiding from my stuttering. I know this idiocy of mine can't go on forever, I have to face my fears, and the more I delay it the harder it will become. I know about all this stuff, I really do. I think I constantly think about my stutter, even when it feels that I am not. It is always there in the back of my head gnawing like a filthy rat. Currently I feel kind of indifferent about the whole thing, I am somewhere between accepting it and denying it, in a somewhat empty space I feel suffocated in. I am afraid of doing the simpliest of things, you can probably think of an example yourself. I am a talkative guy trapped in a mute body, something like that. I want to communicate, I want to hold speeches and influence people just by using my words, but all that comes out when I open my mouth is mumbling sounds. I am too scared, that is why. I know I can talk, that's not it. For christ sake, this is killing me, slowly. I feel so pathetic writing this. I want to go to therapists and speech therapists, but I don't seem to be able to step outside of my ugly door. I am not really trapped, I just think that I am. It is all in my moronic brain. Jesus... This is ridiculous.