100% understand you. One of the most painful parts of stuttering is wondering who I could’ve been if God had been a little nicer to me. Maybe I would have a girlfriend. Maybe I would be more confident and outgoing. I wouldn’t have to deal with the stress, depression, suicidal thoughts and darkness that comes with feeling isolated, judged and mocked. The depression also takes hold because I know that this will always be my life. The pain that I’ve felt so far at 22 is enough to be depressed, but if stuttering went away tomorrow or when I’m 25, I could push through and live a happy post stuttering life. But no, the reality is this is me. Forever. There is no light at the end of the tunnel where everything is perfect. This will be a life long journey of self love and healing. It’s not fair. I constantly compare myself to others and wonder what could’ve been for me. How my story could’ve been different.