Lost all hope

Lost all hope I had a few kids telling that I sound retarded and asking me if I had a mental disability. I used to pride myself but now that's gone. So what do I have to live for? I don’t have the only thing that 99% of people have. My family are of no help and I can't seem to find anyone who can help me with my disability. In short, life sucks with this disability. No matter what I want to die in one form or another. I won't commit suicide but I want to feel better. Happier, smarter, and just be normal. Please if anyone is going through or gone through stutter related depression I can really use some help. Please.