Firstly your English isn't bad at all, there's nothing wrong with it actually. Secondly, don't ever say that you hate your life. You only think that way right now because of your thoughts. Don't let anyone or anything stop you from being amazing. Stuttering is something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. But I don't let it get the best of me. And how do I do that? By taking up jobs that don't require me to talk as much to begin with. I started my career working on excel sheets and data management. My role has now grown into relationship management, this involves sales as well, something I never thought I would be cable of doing. There is going to be an end to this, and the only way it's possible is if you aren't too focused and conscious of it. The more you think about stuttering, the more it will happen in the next sentence you speak. Deep breathing, singing in the shower, dressing up well and feeling good about yourself is a start. This will make you feel good about yourself. There is light at the end of the tunnel ❤️❤️