Hey man, I’m sorry your stutter is so severe. I’ve been there. Done that. I just turned 31 yesterday. I’m a male 6’2 and good looking, and yes I do have a stutter. It’s mild now, but it was severe at one time. Only thing that helped me was getting a job at a homeless shelter, and slowly talking to homeless ppl who didn’t judge me bc they were down on their luck as well. I am currently looking to go back to school to become an SLP, and your experience is a huge reason why I am going to become one. We need more ppl like us in the field, who actually have lived experiences as a stutterer. Ppl who don’t, won’t and can’t understand it. Pls, do not kill yourself. That’s the easy way out. Weed is also the easy way out. Sit and be with yourself. Meditate but do so in a “zen” fashion. Silence cures emotional turmoil, and stabilizes you in rootedness and grounded-ness. I help this helps. Remember, we are 1% of the population, and you are a smart guy. Computer Science is hard as hell. Best of luck.