Man I really wish you were at the NSA conference or I could find the video from the close ceremony. There was a father who was there for the first time and he got up at the end and went up to the podium to speak in front of the 900 people there. He shared how sorry he was for the impatience, blame, and stubbornness she showed towards his daughter's stutter. In those four days he had made a permanent change in how he thought, felt, and treated his daughter and how thankful he was to the NSA for showing him. I can try to ask some people and get his contact info if you think your dad would be open to talking to him. It sounds like you're dad is really scared and doesnt know what to do at all and is taking it out on you. I think coming to the next NSA conference in Chicago could really illuminate a lot for him, like it did for the father i mentioned. As far as dealing with it now, I would just tell him you need to talk, and not let him walk out with some dismissal. Tell him that the way he is treating you is not helpful and it is only making you more self conscious. Tell him you know he loves you and wants to help but this is only making things tougher on you and its not toughening you up. If that's not really an option, I would try to find an SLP you can connect with. One who isn't about fluency and who really gets what it's like to be a person with a stutter, particularly a severe one. Maybe with their help as an authority in the subject you can get through to your dad. Stay strong. Im sure all this negativity is just a terrible coping strategy for the immense fear and/or guilt he's feeling. But know, it's not about stress. It's not about breathing. It's not about rate or onset or light contact or any of that stuff.You have a lot of negative feelings about you're speech which is causing you so much turmoil and getting rid of that is the key in my opinion. Your dad loves you but isn't helping. Try to sit him down and talk to him. If not by yourself then maybe with an SLP. Take him to an NSA chapter meeting: http://www.westutter.org/find-an-nsa-meeting-near-you/. Don't give up on yourself or your dad. you'll both make it through this.