Not being able to say my name is destroying my life.

Not being able to say my name is destroying my life. I’m almost 30 years old. I have the phenomenon that most stutterers have where when someone asks my name I end up blocking. Sometimes pretty severely. It’s so embarrassing and a source of so much shame for me. The shame is so intense I’ve contemplated suicide many times. I work as a nurse at a nursing home, and when I block on my name in front of families they become very uneasy and find me suspicious. It makes residents uncomfortable. I have a 6 year old daughter who does not stutter and she’s heard me block on my name before and questioned what was happening to me. I have no friends and cannot imagine getting myself into a position to make friends. The idea of joining a group or class or even one on one introductions fills me with so much terror. When I was in nursing school years ago we went around the room and told everyone our names and when they got to me I blocked so severely that the pen I was holding almost snapped bc of the tension in my body. The teacher publicly humiliated me for it at the end of it. I am considering changing my name just to avoid this chronic problem but fear not being able to find work again due to employers finding it suspicious that I randomly changed my first name. I am so broken. I am an embarrassment to my daughter. I remember as a kid when I would block on my name my mom would shame me for it saying why did I forget my name. She would scream at me for it. I have been through so much therapy and meds and even ketamine therapy hoping to reset my brain in some way. I am so scared of what may happen soon if I don’t find a solution soon. I’m so scared for my daughter that she may end up like me one day. She’s already so alone bc we have no family or friends that come around and her schoolmates parents are very unsettled by me. Does anyone have any similar experience or advice?