The thing is I know that I don't accept my stutter, I can't, I've tried so many times, I need to stop lying to myself because I can't just wake up one day and tell myself that Im fine with stuttering. I'm not. It is what it is. I have just come to the understanding that I have no other choice, I have to live with it or I might just go and cry about it everyday until I die. And that's not the life I want for myself. I don't think about stuttering, I stopped anticipating it I just speak and when I stutter, well I stutter.