To be fair, I haven't practiced in a while, maybe 2 months, so my lack of progress is at least partially attributable to me being lazy/apathetic. I'll definitely start practicing again because I'd rather be actively combating this issue than allowing myself to be subsumed by it. It's definitely frustrating that I've put in tremendous effort over the years and there's virtually nothing to show for it. Maybe my strategies are wrong, or my brain is just incapable of breaking out of this mindset, but to me it feels like even trying anymore is futile. Truth be told, my bouts of greatest fluency are when I'm not thinking about it. For example, when I'm drunk, I feel as if my body is stripped of anxiety, and I'm given the ability to speak fluently.