In a similar boat but learning to love myself despite it all. Just finished my bachelor's and in a weird space where i recollect myself and everything I've been through to get here. The awkward convos, painful stumbles, developing avoidance and deep isolation for years, went through terrible pychotic periods, etc. I feel like I somewhat relate to your current state. Parents can screw us in ways that makes it hard to forget or move past. It hurts to say but its own responsibility now to fix what we can, and accept what we can't. We're adults I refuse to spend my lifespan hating myself and the world. No matter how cruel it seems. I can't continue to resent myself over things out of my limits growing up. I missed many opportunities because of the self hatred. Look into the depression rather than purely your stuttering. They may be mutually exclusive at times but there's always a work around. It all starts with your attitude towards change. Stuttering and its lingering effects (mental turmoils)still continue to trouble my life...everyday. But the change in perspective made it(life) slightly more bearable. Wanna be pals?