I totally get ya, I'm the same, in fact I try to avoid family, work or any social gatherings.. I just hate sitting there not been able to join in and enjoy myself, I'm always on edge and full of anxiety, ... I get called miserable, shy reserved etc, yet in fact inside I'm dying to let the real me out, .. it's as you say, the embrassment of just trying to join in and then you start to stutter like a fool is just to much to take