just ranting idk

just ranting idk i’m currently watching nba debates and seeing how effortlessly everyone can get their point across and speak so fluently is really bothering me, knowing i’ll never be able to do so. i’ll never know what’s it’s like to say what i want, when i want, how i want. recently i’ve been finding it harder than ever to maintain conversation and truly connect with people, it almost seems impossible at this point. i’ve isolated myself to the point where i’m uncomfortable taking a singular step outside of my house.