It just gets worse...

It just gets worse... My previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Stutter/comments/87s549/this_is_forever_my_life/ I just called a hotel to change my booking days and I completely stuttered like a fucking retard when giving her my reference number thing. I normally don't stutter on i's but this time it was just not coming out man.. I sat there like a complete fucking retard trying to force it out by shaking my leg and head and it just wasn't coming out... Like I said this is forever my life and i can't go on anymore... I can't even tell doctors what's wrong with me if the word i want to say is really hard so I'll probably end up dying anyway :/ I just cut myself pretty deep xd