Honestly, reading your post, it’s hard not to see that you’re not being very kind to your husband. I get that you’re frustrated, but you’re treating his stutter like it’s a problem he needs to fix for your comfort. And that’s just not fair to him. He’s not choosing to stutter. It’s a part of him, and he deserves to be treated with patience, empathy, and respect. You’re frustrated by the pauses, the monotone, the way it takes him a while to get his words out and I get that it’s difficult. But the way you’re expressing that frustration, the visible impatience, the asking him to repeat himself multiple times, the fact that you’re letting your facial expressions betray your frustration. It’s all just hurtful. The way you’re describing yourself shows that you’re making him feel like a burden, like a problem to be endured rather than someone to be supported. That’s not love. It’s not empathy. And it’s certainly not kindness. What’s worse is that you seem to be so caught up in your own experience (your frustration, your ADHD, your need for faster communication ) that you’ve lost sight of his needs. He’s the one struggling to get the words out, to be understood, to feel like he’s worthy of being heard without judgment. But instead of helping him feel better, you’re making it about your discomfort. You’re prioritizing your own frustration over his emotional wellbeing, and that’s not being a nice partner. It’s clear that you love him, but love isn’t just about being there when things are easy. It’s about patience and empathy when it’s hard. And from what you’ve said, you’re not showing either. The fact that you’re making faces and visibly struggling to pay attention means that you’re not trying hard enough to be supportive. I’m sure it’s not intentional, but it’s hurtful nonetheless, and it’s sending the message that his way of speaking is something to be tolerated, not something to be accepted as part of him. The truth is, your husband deserves better than this. He deserves someone who will love him in his entirety, including the parts that make him vulnerable. If you can’t provide him with the patience and respect he needs, then maybe you’re not the right person for him. He deserves a partner who won’t make him feel bad for something out of his control. And right now, it sounds like you’re making him feel like he’s the problem. You need to take a hard look at how you’re treating him. Are you treating him with the same kindness you would want if the roles were reversed? Or are you just tolerating him when it’s inconvenient for you? Being frustrated and trying to improve doesn’t erase the fact that you’re being unkind. If you’re committed to this relationship, you need to do the hard work of changing the way you approach communication and show him the respect and patience he deserves. Because right now, you’re not being a nice person to him, and he deserves someone who is ableist and intolerant of someone they claim to love.