First, I’m sending you the biggest virtual hug possible. You’ve gone through so much and I have the utmost respect for your bravery. You’re doing an amazing job, and I don’t want you to give up. Second, given your understandable anxiety when meeting strangers would it help to carry a card which informs people about your stutter - especially in situations where time is tight or stress is high? These cards are a form of self-advocacy and a nonverbal way to communicate you have a stutter without the difficulty of trying to say the words in a high-pressure moment. - They quickly explain you have a stutter and may need more time to speak. - You can use it in shops, restaurants, or on public transport to avoid misperceptions (e.g., bar staff thinking they have had too much to drink). - They are particularly useful during interactions with authority figures like airport security or police, who might mistake stuttering for nervousness or lying. I believe you can download them from support organisations. Maybe there are other stutterers here who use them?