I hope your feelings can turn into something more positive. Stuttering is so exhausting. I have an extreme stutter. I also have physical tics that happen as well and I will literally hurt my neck. Please don't give up. You are loved. It is embarrassing and I am so sorry you deal with this everyday. But you can do anything you want. Lots of people with top jobs have a stutter or some sort of issue they struggle with daily. I truly hope you see your worth and know that you are more than your stutter.